Effective Working with Neglected Children and their Families by Elaine Farmer Eleanor Lutman

Author:Elaine Farmer, Eleanor Lutman [Elaine Farmer, Eleanor Lutman]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Science, Social Work, Political Science, Public Policy, Social Services & Welfare
ISBN: 9780857006097
Google: YPwrKd5NjhIC
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2012-08-15T05:29:15+00:00

8

Interviews with Parents and Children

We were only able to conduct a very small number of interviews with parents and neglected children and young people (see Chapter 2). Here we give the views of the six parents and six children with whom we spoke. We focus on the parents’ and children’s views of their relationship with each other, on their returns home, sources of support and children’s services’ involvement. We also sought to discover how they defined and understood neglect.

Interviews with parents

Three interviews were held with mothers, one with a mother and her partner, one with a father and one with a father and the child’s grandmother. At the time of the interviews the children in five families were living at home and one child was in a shared care arrangement. Three of these children had remained at home since their original return. Three had returned home for a second time after unsuccessful previous returns (and had been there for five months, nine months and three years respectively).

The parents’ relationships with their children

Most of the parents were positive about their current relationships with their children. For example, one parent said they had a ‘good bond’ and three parents talked about the love in their relationship. Another parent said that they were ‘dead close’ and one described how she and her daughter got on well and enjoyed doing things together. One father was more reserved in his answers and said of his relationship with his son: ‘It’s fine, it’s alright.’ However, these relationships were not without their difficulties. One mother described how she sometimes needed to be firm with her daughter:

We know each other that well and don’t get me wrong we are really, really best of friends. But again don’t get me wrong she knows when I mean business, she knows if I’m being serious…I would say to her, ‘That’s it, you know, it’s non-negotiable. It’s what I say or tough.’

In a similar vein, another mother said that her daughter could be demanding and testing and that this was not easy to cope with but that she had to:

say things and be firm when she’s trying to get her own way, you know…I mean I love her to bits, you know, I do but, you know, she is hard work.

For two parents the strain on them was evident. One was struggling to understand her daughter’s recent difficult behaviour. The other described the worry, stress and health problems he had experienced as a consequence of caring for a child with significant medical problems and developmental delay.

Sources of support

Two of the parents had good support networks consisting of doctors, family, friends, workmates, the church and a community psychiatric nurse. The other parents lacked support to varying degrees. One mother only named friends as her source of support despite having significant difficulties. Three others clearly stated that they did not get much or any support and none from their families, with one father saying that he did not ask for any. As the other father put it: ‘[There’s] nobody, only me.

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